Written on October 30, 2017 by admin
Archive for October, 2017
Written on October 30, 2017 by admin
Joel asks dinner host, “Pour me a glass of Bitch?” in the voice of Paul Lynde as Templeton the Rat
Written on October 30, 2017 by admin
Joel does nefarious earthly bidding of high ranking evil spirit in exchange for personal sex ghoul
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel brings picture of red squirrel to hairdresser and says “Make me look like this”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel publicly assaulted on Hollywood Walk of Fame by keyed up Mickey Rourke
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel sniffs and spins around furiously in pile of leaves looking for the ideal spot to relieve himself
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel returns from supermarket to find car booted with note on windshield that says “You filthy little pig”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel piles dirty undies in corner of room and refers to it as Skid Row
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel thumped square on top of head by foul ball at baseball stadium
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel writes his name backwards in red lipstick on door in front of mirror during nightmarish hissyfit
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel uses traditional Western European knowledge and scientific method as cold blanket of superiority during equatorial visit
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel wears “cat’s eyes” contact lenses and movie quality vampire fangs for driver’s license photo
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel assumes most zookeepers are vegetarian but then sees one eating a smoked chimp’s hand
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel organizes North Shore monster truck rally called “Smashachusetts”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel develops concept for frigid new fitness regiment called Frozen Yoga
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel gets all righteous with kid about Frankenstein being the creator’s name and not the monster’s
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel installs satellite dish in back yard attempting to summon sex alien
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel says “Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, don’t play a song for me” to co-worker tapping on desk
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel winds up in bushes after making unwelcomed pass at female bodybuilder
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel mysteriously appears as fifth face on Mount Rushmore for one afternoon
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel toys with woman’s emotions, taking her to fancy restaurant and bending down on one knee to tie shoelace
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel clings to ladder falling over backward during sorority peeping tom stunt
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel abandons boat and flees state after things heat up over parasailing disaster
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel signs over wife and investment accounts to Bahamian womanizer
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel swings pocketbook recklessly while trying to move his braids off his face behind his ear
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s rain soaked face appears in child’s bedroom window during bursts of lightning
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel obsessively keeps patrons’ water glasses full at Thai restaurant
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel immediately forgets everyone who aided his mayoral campaign moments after winning
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel seen power walking with group of older women gossiping about neighbors
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel carries out full shift as waiter at 2x speed after confusing speed pills for vitamins
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel kicked in head and knocked out while holding board in karate demo
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel believes flu shots are ploy to inject tiny microchips in population
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel winks at SCUBA instructor on ocean floor, rapidly inflates vest
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel answers “how do I do what?” when politely asked “how do you do?”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel believes person named Ben Dover possessed textbook before him
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel puts out personal ad seeking full figured woman specifically named Brenda
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel goes tanning in crude, homemade outfit that only exposes his privates
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel tells child the legend of the stink comet that will light up the night sky with its green gassy tail and make the world smell like rotten eggs
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel trusted Sleepy’s for the rest of his life; now he isn’t sure
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel coerced into giving wrong answers during Manitowoc County murder investigation
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel walks out from behind paper screen wearing kimono and taking short steps
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel tells friendly tourist family on Tucscon hiking trail that there’s really no need to worry about snakes
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel sues over his likeness to perverted turtle character in satirical children’s book
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel hands out ape costumes and plastic rifles to staff at Charlton Heston’s nursing home
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel uses local 5k charity race as opportunity to drink dangerously
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel’s screenplay “Bed & Breakfast Tanzania” lambasted for being being both unoriginal and completely historically inaccurate
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel wakes up in cargo section of moving plane with nasty bump on the back of head
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel cuts off software development lead, saying “I don’t need to see how the sausage is made”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel actively looks for opportunities to use the phrase “Indian Giver”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel wonders if L.L. Bean could possibly be a coffee distributor owned by L.L. Cool J.
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel gets walked-in on while pasting together collage for neighbor’s teen class presidency campaign while listening to “Whoomp There It Is”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel spits out mild Indian food having never tasted anything that exotic
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel comments to coworker, “Give him enough rope and he’ll hang himself,” about employee they want to get rid of
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel catches Hepatitis C from a Hepatitis C awareness poster on subway train
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel thinks banana nut bread is just bread for people who are nuts about bananas
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel slapped after asking woman with musky body odor if he can “get down with the clown”
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel blows cloud of wizard smoke out of car while dropping off kid at school
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel forced to switch seats with other airline passenger after declining emergency exit responsibilities
Written on October 29, 2017 by Billy
Joel feeds chocolate covered espresso beans to hyperactive toddler
Written on October 18, 2017 by admin