Archive for February, 2018

Joel green-lights production of Tom Arnold movie “The Stupids”

Joel revealed smiling as hundreds of pigeons scatter

Joel starts opinionated online mailing list called The Houston Moms Association

Joel chases snake from nursery

Joel too scared to watch New England area food-related television program, Phantom Gourmet

Joel screams his way through neon forest

Joel consumes more than he produces

Joel tackled attempting to tug airplane door latch open mid flight

Joel fires starter pistol at crowd

Joel accepts fainting as normal daily phenomena and doesn’t seek medical attention

Joel throws mannequin off bridge onto highway

Joel sprints through rear exit of restaurant as Frankenstein storms in looking for him

Joel begins terrorizing couple who rent him a room

Joel seen wandering away from hospital with half-open gown

Joel spit on by protesters upon returning home from Vietnam as a tourist

Joel puts off installing Ubuntu OS, reasoning that he doesn’t speak “African”

Joel insists that throwing figure skating partner into stands was accident

Joel explains dog’s indifference to owner’s financial situation

Joel hides among stuffed animals in child’s closet

Joel caught in Superman’s arms after horsing around on bridge

Joel runs across hot coals straight into burn unit

Joel takes random day off in April, claiming it to be “Mexican Easter”

Joel questioned by FBI after bizarre animal mask purchases

Joel asks for second larger sandwich to wrap around his first, smaller sandwich

Joel puts cadaver in passenger seat to use carpool lane

Joel wears powdered wig to speeding ticket hearing

Joel posts bail after getting busted for selling oregano in Wildwood, New Jersey

Joel seen out of control on jet ski billowing smoke with police boat in pursuit

Joel passes out while getting tongue pierced to impress new raver friends

Joel paints rocks gold

Joel’s face begins to materialize on police artist’s sketchpad

Joel thrown off porch into garbage pile by recoil from potato gun

Joel approaches skunk den with air horn

Joel nearly strangled to death by fellow runaway travel companion on wooden raft

Joel gives off unpredictable and dangerous vibe while making small talk with smarter person

Joel begs employees to be honest during survey, then retaliates harshly against unfavorable responses

Joel appears sedated during interview while wife describes life with him as “a living hell”

Joel takes deep breath, closes eyes, starts ignition

Joel sees uneaten muffin on park bench and becomes frozen with indecision

Joel slithers in and out of parents’ room like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas to restart cable modem while they sleep

Joel told by teacher there are no stupid questions except for his questions

Joel uses stink as a weapon