Archive for March, 2018

Joel now touring as murder clown rapper

Joel comes out of the woodwork along with all the other fair weather posthumous Garry Shandling fans

Joel watches scrambled porn channel to relive his tween years

Joel rushes to replace tray of brownies before anyone gets home

Joel receives scratchy phone call from the original Joel

Joel watches Eastwood flick Gran Torino but fast forwards through non-racist scenes

Joel thrown from stock car in Laconia death race

Joel has vision of two headed snake with young and old Michael Jackson faces

Joel fears retribution from friends and family after canceling Netflix account

Joel rips off grandmother in pot deal

Joel presents hypothetical win-win situation to CVS pharmacist

Joel orchestrates Aunt Viv switch

Joel stands up during party to propose a toast, pauses, falls face first through glass coffee table

Joel hears plot to kill him unfold while his wife talks in her sleep

Joel stumbles upon his own gravestone while cutting through cemetery during drunk and stoned walk home from babysitting gig

Joel tells Footlocker salesman that he needs a pair of sneakers to win the rat race

Joel enters hospital to finish the job

Joel finds out that it’s actually very unpleasant to stay at the YMCA

Joel quickly draws escape door to avoid oncoming cartoon train

Joel blames killing spree on backwards Led Zeppelin record

Joel deadlifts corpse

Joel keeps driving upon observing police outside his home

Joel asks earth child “Why do you cry?”

Joel includes Tom when bragging about number of friends on MySpace

Joel enters Clowning vs Krumping competition

Joel rarely seen without styrofoam cup of codeine cough syrup