Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Archive for May, 2018
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel chips tooth while testing to see if the crucifix he stole is real gold
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel starts making fake sign language gestures at girl wearing hearing aid
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel wakes up in one-piece pajamas and lights candle to investigate sound of rattling chains
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel protects child’s innocence by removing page in Peter Rabbit where protagonist’s father is cooked in a pie
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel visibly gaunt and exhausted due to toxic relationship with elderly mother
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel seen rolling in the street wrestling with firehose on full blast
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel puts 45 of disco hit Hot Stuff on turntable at 33 rpm while cleaning his guns
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel forced to make Sophie’s choice between glazed donut and chocolate eclair
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel becomes insanely jealous at doctor’s mention of other patients
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel wakes up hours later still in conference room wearing gag glasses with painted cartoon eyes
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel, with empty expression, stares through co-worker while others sing Happy Birthday in office break room
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel relocates peanut butter to opposite side of store from jelly on first day as supermarket manager
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel found busting up basement floor with sledgehammer searching for money at dead uncle’s house
Written on May 31, 2018 by Billy
Joel uses childish sailboat and crab stencils to paint custom tote bags for friends at halfway house
Written on May 15, 2018 by admin
Joel stabs crossword puzzle repeatedly with knife after failing to get more than a couple words
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel affixes Punisher sticker to back window of truck to suggest that he’s capable of murder
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel plays role of flippant police officer who irrationally will not take desperate caller seriously
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel refuses to accept that “Stuck in the Middle with You” isn’t a Bob Dylan recording
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel cuts corners building straw house easily blown down by cartoon wolf
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel asks sports store manager if they have any cheaper children’s football helmets than the cheapest ones he found
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel tells wife he went into attic to investigate sound of laughter but she knows he has drugs stashed up there
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel stumbles across trove of ghoulish nicknacks in elderly Croatian woman’s basement
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel keeps observation of potentially catastrophic situation at condo complex to himself
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel shaves uneven chunks from hair before meeting to secure small business loan
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel walks across metal beam during high rise construction with balance of stiff Native American
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel lays awake hearing growling and meat-slapping through hotel room wall
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel spins “Dirty/Clean” dishwasher magnet the wrong way to upset colleagues
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel adopts fledgling child actor to get at his potential future earnings
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel dances furiously in abandoned warehouse because no one understands him
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel lives by the Islamic Numerological adage “No pork on the fork”
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel late for work after sleeping through blaring alarm clock playing “Start Me Up”
Written on May 14, 2018 by Billy
Joel wears t-shirt with blazer in hopes of attracting like-minded psychopaths
Written on May 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel makes off with donation basket from Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting
Written on May 2, 2018 by Billy
Joel carefully studies and memorizes Zodiac animals and birth years from Chinese menu
Written on May 1, 2018 by Billy
Joel horrified by implied cannibalism of cartoon pig chef as BBQ joint logo
Written on May 1, 2018 by Billy
Joel walks around with major boner at his parents’ house like he doesn’t understand his body yet
Written on May 1, 2018 by Billy
Joel provides made-up name of resident he’s visiting when caught prowling around nursing home
Written on May 1, 2018 by Billy
Joel draws false, wildly inaccurate conclusions while observing sedimentary rock during hike
Written on May 1, 2018 by Billy
Joel reveals his plan to event rental salesman of collapsing tent to trap party guests
Written on May 1, 2018 by Billy