Archive for October, 2018

Joel triple-clicks hyperlink

Joel unconsciously logs activity in sleepwalking app

Joel talked down from roof of house

Joel eats slop from trough on Japanese gameshow

Joel chokes on unsalted nuts

Joel runs from scene of accident into woods

Joel tells new employee he’s keeping her on a short leash

Joel given just enough rope

Joel estimates distance between two Los Angeles locations to be about 45 minutes give or take traffic

Joel employs “Throw Catch Win” strategy in Bengals’ 2018 road to victory

Joel subtitles autobiography “Power and Justice”

Joel micromanages barber

Joel haunts murky waters of small town pool

Joel casually picks belly button link through lower buttons of dress shirt while meeting with realtor

Joel uses Google Translate to decipher whether “idiota” is a compliment or an insult

Joel babbles madly in poultry department

Joel’s life divided by before and after he’s stood up at prom

Joel claims his astrological sign is a beaver eating a burrito

Joel adds rainbow to church signage to increase congregation size

Joel returns to scene of crime

Joel offers woman wad of cash in grocery line to not contest price of item

Joel designates separate corners for solid and liquid waste during weekend elevator lock-in

Joel builds fortified Mexican villa where he is free to read Joan Wilder romance novels in peace

Joel finally graduates to Pantene Pro-W

Joel attributes menacing vibe to surplus of Monster energy drinks

Joel crawls back into sewer

Joel earns promotion with heightened energy fueled by microdosing crack cocaine

Joel’s grandmother detects strong smell of bug spray in bag of pot he sold to her

Joel’s ancestors neither clean nor industrious

Joel sprayed in face with oven cleaner by housekeeper during argument about payment

Joel uses coworker’s personal coffee mug despite agreeing not to

Joel too nervous to even buzz once on Jeopardy

Joel misreports amount of drugs and cash seized in bust

Joel responds “demon corn” when asked what his favorite food is

Joel’s coworkers unsure whether to ask if he’d been in a fight over the weekend

Joel too disorganized to join the Methodists

Joel clearly heard eating in bathroom stall where small mountain of candy wrappers are later found on floor

Joel gets all worked up about how Jimmy cracked corn

Joel starts zipper company with intent to compete against industry giant YKK

Joel will be Joel

Joel asks store manager if they have any cheaper eggs in worse condition

Joel seen running hysterically down shoulder of highway