Written on November 29, 2018 by Billy
Archive for November, 2018
Written on November 29, 2018 by Billy
Joel wakes in haze to find incriminating Polaroids spread throughout hotel room
Written on November 27, 2018 by admin
Joel considers starting house fire to cover up butchering of friend’s prized Bonsai tree
Written on November 27, 2018 by admin
Joel autographs newspaper caricature with sinister Joel face and body of a pouched hairless rodent
Written on November 23, 2018 by admin
Joel uses custom tailor smartphone app to get suit jacket fitted for small gorilla
Written on November 21, 2018 by Billy
Joel chalks up Coolidge and Wilson presidencies to public’s fondness of alliteration
Written on November 20, 2018 by admin
Joel’s ineffectiveness as a provider forces sickly pregnant wife to take physically demanding job at pet store
Written on November 20, 2018 by admin
Joel experiences direct relationship between dumbness and time
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel crawls through sewer, comes out the other side in prison cell
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel organizes bigoted march on Washington the day after Thanksgiving aptly named White Friday
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel adopts violent, clown-oriented rap-rock culture to combat the pain of being unable to compete in the digital economy
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel stops off on trip home from light Japanese meal to pick up heavy Chinese one
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel uses the gold standard of “10 year old boy” when describing the ideal human buttocks
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel emulates the general style of militant extremists without necessarily adopting their views and beliefs
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel’s autobiography “Monstrosity” pulled from shelves and burned in religious pockets
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel persuades Cincinnati quarterback Andy Dalton to hurl ball through goalposts
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel purchases All You Can Keefe pass, allotting him unlimited visits to the O’Keefe museum during his stay in Santa Fe
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel passed over for lead in political thriller due to sub-par intelligence
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel insists to customer during support call that the problem lies between the computer and the keyboard
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel reveals soaking wet armpits while wiping sweat from forehead during Nor’easter weather report
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel foolishly refuses to leave house after obvious signs of haunting
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel photographed grimacing with eyes closed while getting sacked
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel reminds women that life doesn’t pause, even for vaginal health issues
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel tucks end of tablecloth into collar as makeshift bib, twiddles fingers in delight before picking up knife and fork and embarking on orgiastic feast
Written on November 20, 2018 by Billy
Joel’s McDonald’s shift supervisor confirms mother’s worst fear
Written on November 19, 2018 by Billy
Joel’s mother regrets letting him choose his own outfit for picture day
Written on November 10, 2018 by admin
Joel likens his defamation site to an impossibly beautiful tree falling in the woods
Written on November 10, 2018 by admin
Joel leaves bowl of candy on porch with sign: “Limit one per child. You are being recorded.”
Written on November 10, 2018 by admin
Joel manages to get a lot of good people upset for no reason after local sherriff goes out on a limb for him
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel seen hurriedly climbing out of bedroom window in underwear, open silk robe, and CPAP mask
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel’s particular style likened to a greaser cannibal swine mascot for a BBQ eatery
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel insists on having a woman holding a live rat in music video
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel drives around with “Garbage Baby On Board” sign in rear window
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel indignant with insurance company for raising his rates after proving to be a very bad driver and a very stupid person
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel claims retired footballer Teddy Bruschi suffered stroke after attempting to crush unopened beer can against forehead
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel emphasizes fact that he ate only half of chicken parm sub, omits fact that he also ate half of large pizza
Written on November 8, 2018 by admin
Joel sets up trip line in Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s office, causing the senior justice of the highest court to fall and break three ribs
Written on November 7, 2018 by admin