Archive for February, 2020

Joel blames murders on mythical beast

Joel heads home from stressful IT job to sickly wife and screaming baby in haunted house

Joel’s lack of profanity offends no one

Joel feeds booze to noble Okinawan karate master in order to “bring him down a few notches”

Joel writhes and seethes in the drama that always surrounds him

Joel is the dog you get fleas from when rolling around with

Joel wrestles with toilet goblin

Joel explains that Monster Energy Drink is just Energy Drink if you’re a monster

Joel takes being called a dirty rat as a compliment

Joel enters insurance company in conga line with giddy criminals

Joel caught searching his backyard with magnifying glass

Joel argues with himself in the park

Joel avoids Corona beer fearing Coronavirus

Joel located by trail of Cool Ranch Doritos dust

Joel courts mythical centrist voter

Joel remarks about the sickness he’s made to feel by his mother

Joel invites friend to car stereo shop, explaining that he’s making a sound investment

Joel staggers into wedding drunk and covered in blood before collapsing on the bride

Joel’s serious skin disease misdiagnosed on telemedicine call

Joel comes out of tanning booth to find two detectives waiting for him

Joel offers hope

Joel wonders if he already shows humility, can he be humiliated?

Joel screams himself hoarse

Joel caught pouring gas on the side of hospital

Joel believes his baby is more special and good looking than others

Joel behaves like slut

Joel crashes his car blinded by tears

Joel has violent altercation with penis

Joel rolls oxygen mask into first day of trial for sex crimes

Joel forced to dance for Chinese investors

Joel composes symphonic masterpiece for deaf son

Joel asks Jeeves

Joel flexes muscles at dog

Joel delivers crushing handshake to female intern

Joel found passed out holding spoon next to bowl of sugar

Joel asks AirBnB host if he can pay for the damages ahead of time

Joel continues to slap the driver’s side window until woman finally works up the nerve to run the light

Joel compares every version of Little Women

Joel shocks child psychologist when she sees his stick figure drawing of his family includes an added figure with a bloody hook

Joel touches belly of killer whale as it jumps over him

Joel unable to top his early eighties sonic masterpiece “Turd Circus”

Joel wakes up from coma years after saying “I’d like to see you try”

Joel mad that Portuguese isn’t the same thing as Spanish

Joel physically abused by Australian rat captain

Joel spends eighty dollars at Burger King

Joel catches slut flu

Joel goes to the mat with the sumo class

Joel never is able to learn

Joel lunges at rodent

Joel catches swine flu from dirty egg rolls

Joel calls up friend crying and tells him to urgently meet him at Pizzeria Uno

Joel practices business witticisms in basement mirror

Joel serves dark master

Joel uses floodlight circuit breaker to signal for help in Morse code from locked basement

Joel makes a “midnight run” to pornography store

Joel warns receptionist that she’s forgetting herself

Joel tells most men, “You’re a better man than me”

Joel violates HIPPA

Joel seen spinning around in burlap Grateful Dead hoodie with arms extended on the verge of collapse

Joel gets face scratched by screaming Chinese woman in surgical mask

Joel shows gun

Joel pounds on the door of office meditation room

Joel finishes last despite being bad guy

Joel lifts himself up from laying down face first in puddle of mud and reveals red glowing eyes

Joel offers espresso to excited puppy

Joel starts small exporting business selling American blue jeans to Russia

Joel’s dandruff ruins his chances with woman at supermarket

Joel keeps running and stays upright rigidly after getting caught on fire

Joel trampled at Dress Barn clearance sale

Joel feels 13 or 14 hands on him while getting extradited from Indonesia

Joel seen panning for gold in winter runoff next to shopping plaza

Joel retreats to cave system

Joel overpowered by heavyset child

Joel hastily chooses his 5 free CD’s while signing up for Colombia Music Club

Joel considered low down by some pretty low down people

Joel wigs out after taking Latuda

Joel continues to wear suspenders after the invention of the belt

Joel informs his handlers that his mother is now “cut off”