Archive for April, 2020

Joel was able to get home from police station in time for WrestleMania by telling detectives whatever they wanted to hear

Joel combusts psychotropic flower

Joel hoots and woops while boarding party bus with group of middle aged women

Joel rips sink off gas station bathroom wall after smoking spice

Joel escapes on speedboat after punching bouncer

Joel pushed into the deep end of empty pool

Joel impressed by professional

Joel unable to catch a break when stopped for speeding while naked in his car again

Joel uses his contacts in City Hall to get Board of Health off his brother-in-law’s back

Joel wears prosthetic face to night club

Joel tells police that assailant drove off in “little bitch car” but is unable to provide any basic details about make, model, number of doors, or color

Joel arrogantly proclaims that he practices big city medicine

Joel chased around dino park by bone-wielding ogre

Joel goes berserk at Off Track Betting location upon finding out someone cooked his favorite horse

Joel gets involved with some dangerous lake people

Joe ties up and robs elderly Miami foursome

Joe suffers major stroke while rage-eating Toasted Frontega Chicken sandwich

Joel clobbered by juggernaut

Joel shot down in supermarket parking lot during height of the virus scare

Joel gets dressed up in a hooded sweatshirt, aviator glasses, and a curly ass wig to make some bombs

Joel found alive in woods

Joel not dead six days before his wife marries the dirty dog that shot him down

Joel becomes an unfeeling, unthinking nonstop killing machine

Joel encounters long-haired screaming skeleton

Joel stays inside, hiding from a world gone mad

Joel plays with fire

Joel hit across back with two by four and immobilized by hero Home Depot employee

Joel ignores best practices

Joel terrorized on highway by sleek Japanese sport motorcycle gang

Joel credits extra 20 bucks to purchase of shitty drill

Joel seen standing in his front yard motionless in bathrobe and aviator sunglasses for 30 minutes

Joel nests table

Joel slapped with civil suit after beating murder trial

Joel gains ultimate competitive advantage by partnering with Franklin Covey

Joel unwilling to explain what he meant by “scantavious” when addressing his company’s financial outlook

Joel’s mother signs historical treaty with Hayward Chicano gang

Joel flees scene and goes home and waits until he hears pounding on his door

Joel neither tells nor is he asked

Joel rips copper piping from abandoned houses to fuel his drug habit

Joel grabs wig off McDonald’s cashier

Joel interviews vampire

Joel hires physical trainer named Ron Savage

Joel vows to destroy the straight community

Joel takes his meat into his own hands

Joel affected by a virus he doesn’t believe in